Exclusive Interview with The Dog Expert® Sheryl Matthys, Author of “Leashes and Lovers”

The Dog Expert shares her experiences, lessons in life, inspirations, and shares some tips on how to create better relationships.

1. When did you start Leashes and Lovers® and why?

Leashes and Lovers began in 2003. I wanted to provide a way for dog lovers to connect whether in person or online. On Leashes and Lovers, dog lovers can make an online profile and be in the “Club” to find a playdate, those with the same breed, make friends or even a date.

I also wanted to provide a way for small business owners to showcase their products and services in a marketplace that is interactive with dog lovers on the site. There are also resources on the site such as articles, blogs, video, and more.
But more importantly, I started Leashes and Lovers because of our need for deeper, more meaningful relationships, and to celebrate the common bond as dog lovers.

2. What was your inspiration for Leashes and Lovers?

My Greyhounds Shiraz and Buffett were my inspiration. I wanted to do more with them and since they are the perfect icebreaker in meeting people to form real friendships – I figured others may want to do the same.

3. How did you get your pets?

I adopted both my Greyhounds from Greyhound Friends West – a Greyhound Rescue organization who got the dogs from a CT racetrack. Both Connecticut racetracks have since closed.

4. How did your pets serve as an inspiration for Leashes and Lovers?

When I got my first Greyhound Shiraz, I recall being amazed at how much I could love a dog. It was a deep love that I had never experienced before, and a type of love only dog lovers can understand. I could feel this great sense of pure fondness in my heart. I had no idea I could love something so much and so differently than I do my human companions.

Obviously, I’m not alone. Through interviewing hundreds of dog lovers at Leashes and Lovers parties, dog runs, on the street, and online – I gathered enough information to create a relationship book.

People want more meaningful relationships with all the humans in their lives and our dogs have much to teach us on that. Imagine being in a relationship with a person in the same way we are with our dogs – a relationship in which you can say anything without it having repercussions, right then or down the road. And this “partner” just senses how we’re feeling.

Our dogs allow us to truly be ourselves, which is why the bond goes so deep. Life doesn’t have to be perfect for our dogs – being good is satisfaction enough for them.

Our dogs teach us that the value of being a “good friend” is not bound to perfectionism. Our dogs don’t care about our imperfections. Our expectation of them to be the “perfect dog” is not only unrealistic, it leads to disappointment, and misses the boat concerning what a relationship is about. Carrying this feeling over into other aspects and the human relationships in our lives can be life changing.

5. Tell us about your interest on Greyhounds. Why that particular breed?

I love Greyhounds – I’m just drawn to them. In my book, I place various dog breeds within five categories depending on what we seek to complete ourselves: Attention, Exercise, Companionship, Calmness, and Love. I explain those categories in the book as well as which breeds fall under them. Greyhounds are under “Calmness” and that’s what I sought to complete my life – a bit of zen!

Why we choose a certain type of dog also reflects the traits we deem important in a partner. Often unbeknownst to us, we look for what we’re lacking. If there is something missing inside of us, we often try to find it in the dog we choose. Then we seek similar attributes in our potential mates which, when we find such a person, makes us more whole, centered and fulfilled. We’re happier all around, and may not even realize that it all started with our dog.

Our breed of choice (I include mixed breeds too) often reflects our ideal mate of choice, showing that our love for a certain dog concurs with the universe’s law of attraction. What you seek in a date or a mate is right there in front of you in the traits and qualities you look for in a dog. It comes full circle. Your dog, in turn, ends up guiding you as to who is the right one for you based on those same attributes.

Just like there is a human match for each and every person, so too there is a dog out there just waiting for you to find your “better half.”

6. How is it like residing in New York and keeping a pet in a busy city?

I think dogs are great in the city. They can be the best way to meet anyone you desire. It’s not about selecting a dog’s size based on your apartment size either. Landlord rules that only allow pets under a certain weight or height seem ridiculous to me and put in place by those who are unknowledgeable about dogs. Even a Chihuahua can make noise and/or bite.

It’s not about size but rather the dog’s demeanour and how responsible an owner is. I’m all for dogs in the city and dogs of all size. How much room does any dog take curled up in its bed? Most dogs sleep about 14 hours a day – who do they bother, really? It’s up to the owner as to what type of dog they can handle and can they accommodate the dog’s needs in a city atmosphere.

7. How do you find time for your pet despite your very busy schedule?

I don’t look at it as my dog taking more time out of my day but rather what she (I currently only have one Greyhound now that one recently passed away) adds to it in terms of pleasure and enjoyment. I have two children, too.

I recommend to everyone thinking about having kids, to have dogs first! They are the greatest precursors to baby preparation and after having a dog, a kid really seems like a piece of cake. You learn responsibility in a positive light by having a dog. Dog duty pick-up will seem like nothing compared to changing all those diapers.

Like kids, dogs offer us much more in return than we give them. Dogs provide unconditional love and enduring relationships. These days we include them in our holiday celebrations, our social outings, and even our weddings.

We feel so deeply for our dogs because they don’t judge us. Perhaps it’s because dogs don’t care what colour, race, religion, or sex we are – or if we’re wearing makeup or not, what brand of clothes we’re wearing, rich, poor, fat, or skinny – for them it simply comes down to love.

More importantly, dogs don’t “fall out of love.” They desire us now and always. Imagine if we always desired our partner, looked at them only with the eyes our dogs have for us? They simply want our presence and to love us – more than they love themselves. Who doesn’t want that?

8. Where did you get all your experience and training from?

I am a certified dog trainer. I spent a year becoming certified through Animal Behavior College. Through my work at Leashes and Lovers over the years, I’ve interviewed hundreds of dog lovers about how their dogs impact their lifestyle and relationships.
I have a BA in psychology and a Masters in communications. My experience also includes being a speaker, author, actress, entrepreneur, Greyhound rescuer, and former adjunct professor and TV/Radio reporter.

As a mom of two young children and a dog owner, I fill my days writing blogs, and articles. I also plan events, and interview dog lovers including celebrities like Cesar Millan, Howard Stern, and Rachel Ray about how their dogs impact their lifestyle.

9. Through your work, what is the most common problem that couples face?

In a couple, each person usually wants to change something about the other. Yet, we all know how hard it is to adjust behaviours in ourselves, let alone others. Meanwhile, your dog doesn’t work on trying to change you.

For starters, compromise and communication can ease some level of issues, but how many couples do you know are willing to do one or the other, let alone both? In comparison, your dog knows when to back off and give some space.

Jealousy is one of the basic human emotions. In my experience, the greenies bring out the good, the bad, and the ugly in people. Jealousy has been the cause of many breakups – both dog-related and non-. Many times it creeps up on us. But if we are to be honest and examine our own emotions, we may find that we are just as responsible for those strong feelings as our partner.

How to help resolve this matter? Sometimes what seems to be a dog issue is really one of our human issues brought to the forefront because of our dog. Just as you “don’t blame the messenger,” think of your dog as a mediator who is helping you establish a balanced relationship.

If jealousy has crept into your three-legged relationship, the following four tips can help:

Planning takes practice: Living together in harmony is work. If both of you can agree to put deposits into the relationship every day by practicing on saying and/or doing something nice for one another, it can help make so many other parts of the relationship a walk in the park!

There is no deadline: One of the biggest issues we face when merging doghouses is feeling like we must be happy, secure and squared away by a certain date, holiday or time of year. But adding time pressures to an already delicate situation only makes it more stressful, not less.

Make time for “me” time: One of the biggest mistakes couples make is thinking that wanting some alone time, some privacy, or “me” time, means something is wrong with the other person. Dogs never think this way. They don’t get hurt if you’re gone all day. They simply lap up the attention when you finally get home.

Why so serious? Finally, relax. Being a couple can be fun, particularly when you hand over your leash and look to your dog for inspiration. Our dogs quickly learn commands so take your dog’s lead, drop the “small stuff,” and just enjoy the ride.

10. What is the most rewarding thing about your job?

The most rewarding is all the people I get to meet all because of a love of dogs. Our dogs help us communicate better with friends, family and loved ones as they help us break down barriers so naturally.

How often my dogs have made instant friends with strangers I might not have otherwise started a conversation with. We see each other again and talk – knowing the dogs’ names, but not each others’ – yet it doesn’t matter. We’ve now made a connection because of our dogs.

Most of us recognize the lessons our dogs have taught us about friendship, family and loved ones. I am reminded of these lessons my dogs have taught me over the years:

Compassion: Dogs love us absolutely, completely, and quite often from the first minute we meet. Every time I return home, my dog is thrilled to see me. She reminds me to be that enthused and passionate about the important moments in my day and the people in my life.

Trust: Every day my dog trusts me to feed her. She doesn’t know the future, but has faith I’ll be there. She trusts me. We need to believe more that people are good and well-intentioned.

Patience: Dogs will wait all day for a pat, a hug, a meal. As fun as they can be, even the most excitable dog also knows the joys of peace and patience. Do we?

Forget about it: Dogs love to play, but when they choose an item that isn’t appropriate for them and we have to take it away, they don’t fret when it disappears – rather they just move on to something else. Dogs treasure the relationship no matter the length of time.

Spontaneity: Dogs are always ready – for anything, anytime. What would life be like if we could drop everything and simply be up for life?

11. What are your future plans?

My future plans include more book signings. Leashes and Lovers will continue to have events such as hikes, wine tastings, beach runs, cocktail parties, and even kayaking. We’re expanding the Leashes and Lovers Club; members can connect for playdates, same breed, friendships, and dates – as well as hear from experts and ask their questions. We also have hopes to even be a TV show one day!

For more information on Leashes and Lovers: What Your Dog Can Teach You About Love, Life, and Happiness, visit http://LeashesandLovers.com/thebook